October 26, 2010

The Preschool Troublemaker

Every class has a troublemaker. Sometimes it's a class clown who likes the attention. Sometimes it's a child who has behavioral issues. Sometimes it's a child who just can't get her act together.
Within the first few days of this school year, I knew "Becky" would be the troublemaker. Becky runs around while all the other kids are lined up at the fence in the morning. Becky pushes kids on the playground. Becky doesn't stay in line while walking to the classroom. Becky just bit one of my daughters.
Yes. She BIT one of my girls. Hubby called me at work yesterday to tell me the teacher had left a message indicating Roo was bitten by "another student." (Well, duh, if she bit herself you wouldn't be calling). Becky was at the top of my list of culprits. 
At first, I took it all in stride. OK, so in the history of preschool, my daughter is not the first child to be bitten. The message indicated the skin hadn't been broken, so the risk of infection seemed slim. But since I had to finish my work day, I had plenty of time to start stewing. Someone BIT my daughter. She didn't hit her. Didn't pinch her. She bit her. 
My daughters have never bitten any child... other than their sisters, of course. So I'm trying to remind myself that it's a learning process. Becky doesn't have siblings close to her age. She's learning how to get along with her peers. I'm willing to overlook this and not bring it up again. I'm hoping the teacher follows through on her promise to talk with Becky's mom. (Hey, if my kid bites someone, I want to know so I can do some disciplining at home, too).
Except this morning, Roo said she hoped Becky was sick and not at school today. Then Cakes said Becky yelled in her ear and pushed her the other day. I told each of my daughters that if they want to play with Becky at school, that's fine. But if they don't want to play with her, that's fine, too. Part of preschool is learning how to get along with everyone... but it's also learning how to start standing up for yourself and making decisions about right and wrong. Let's just hope the rest of the week goes on without any incidents.

11 comments:

Christina said...

That would of gotten my blood boiling too...gah! Hope there is no more trouble for you!

Quadmama said...

I know in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal, but since it's the first time any thing like that has happened, it just took me a minute to settle down : )

Stephanie Barr said...

When my daughter was in daycare, she was bitten. The next day, she bit the kid that bit her (they became friends, go figure). My son, who doesn't talk, has had a small number of biting incidents, primarily with a teacher he didn't like rather than classmates. He didn't like being held against his will. But it was quite disturbing.

Believe me, as the parent, I want to know and I'm mortified. But it can be a struggle to overcome, particularly for children, like my son, who stayed at home without companions until he went to school. There have been no incidents, by the way, the last two years except for one (on me) in the hospital.

Quadmama said...

That's why I'm trying not to blow it out of proportion. My girls learned not to bite... by biting one another. I'm trying to give Becky the benefit of the doubt and hope she has learned her lesson.

MaryAnne said...

My kids have all had biting phases (well, not Lily, but I'm sure hers is yet to come). I remember Emma tried to bite a friend, before she had a sibling to practice not biting on. Thankfully no friends have ever actually BEEN bit, only siblings, and there was only ever the one attempt to bite a friend.

But absolutely, if my child bit another one, I would want to know, asap. So that I could talk to my child AND apologize to the parent of the child who was bitten.

Becky said...

Did you HAVE to nickname her "Becky"????? GEESH!!! LOL! It's ok to be a mad/concerned mama....I hope it all works out and she leaves your girls alone.

Quadmama said...

You're funny! My girls said she had to go to timeout today. I actually feel a little bad for her because I think some of her acting out is not getting attention at home. When I've been in the classroom it seems like she's acting out simply to get a reaction.

debi9kids said...

UGH. How frustrating. It's good you are looking at this with your eyes comepletely open to how the situation might have played out, but sadly, it sounds like Becky might just be one of "those" kids. Grrrrrr...

ps Just read your comment and you're probably right. Very sad for her :(

Quadmama said...

Becky's mom apologized to Hubby today (he was the one who picked the girls up), so that went a long way in my book.

Sadia said...

Age 5 does seem a little old for biting to still be an issue, but the mother seems aware. We have a "Becky" in the girls' class too, and the teachers and I have been consistent in using her behaviour as an object lesson in resisting peer pressure.

reanbean said...

Ugh! This sounds terrible. I'm sure it's not terribly uncommon to have biting in a preschool class, but I'd have had the same reaction as you. It's nice to know that the mother apologized. Sounds like the teacher may have a rough year with Becky. Hopefully she'll settle down as the year goes on.

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