November 30, 2009

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

I read a recent article in Redbook about the lengths some couples will go to in order to save their marriage. Several couples shared their various problems. One of the couples talked about how the husband's snoring nearly ruined their marriage. The husband snored relentlessly, to the point that the wife, soon after their wedding, moved into the guest room. One night, after tossing and turning, she woke up her husband and threatened to punch him in the stomach if he didn't stop. Folks, I feel her pain.
Hubby snores. I've never thought about punching him in the stomach while he sleeps, but if it stopped his snoring, I might consider it. If I don't fall asleep before he does, then I know I'm in for an interesting night, possibly sleepless night. There have been times I have been startled out of a deep slumber, convinced someone is breaking into the house, only to realize the loud noise is Hubby's snoring.
A few years ago Hubby went to the doctor to discuss allergies and snoring. The doctor prescribed a new allergy medication and advised Hubby to lose weight. The medication didn't work. He's better off with an over-the-counter decongestant. In the last year or so he's dropped 30 pounds (that was his estimate, not mine... I never considered him overweight). If he loses any more weight he's going to look like he has an eating disorder. Still, the snoring continues. He also turns into "mean Hubby" in the initial stages of sleep... so if I dare attempt to rouse him and ask him to roll to his side (less likely to snore that way) then I'm practically daring him to argue with me... arguments he claims he has no knowledge of in the morning.
I know snoring can be signs of serious issues for the snorer. I suppose when we have time he should have some type of sleep evaluation to make sure his snoring isn't the sign of something serious.... until then I'll continue running upstairs the minute we decide to go to bed so I can be the first one in the bathroom and the first one in bed and hope I fall asleep before Hubby starts sawing logs.

12 comments:

maryanne said...

Snoring is a tough one - I'm the one snoring in our house, though... I don't snore really loudly, but some other members of my family do. My dad used to literally shake the house! Since I only snore when I'm in a deep sleep, it doesn't happen much these days.

Quadmama said...

Tortilla is starting to snore, so I'm keeping an eye on her. If it becomes a consistent thing I'll need to talk to our pediatrician about it.

Stephanie B said...

I'm the one that snores in our household. My first husband's snoring could peel paint, but I'm a heavy sleeper so it rarely if ever bothered me.

My husband, who doesn't really snore, is a light sleeper, but he rarely complains about the snoring, perhaps because he prefers to sleep under pillows and blankets over his head (he's a light hater).

One thing I remembered was a column for Emily Post once talking about snoring and a number of responses of widows who said that the snoring was one of the things they most missed, knowing that they weren't alone, that the one they loved was with them.

I guess it's all perspective.

Goddess in Progress said...

My husband is a HORRIBLE snorer. Really, really loud. I finally got him to go for a sleep study the other night. The good news: it's not apnea, so he doesn't need one of those CPAP machines. Waiting for discussion with the doctor to see what we can do about the snoring. Seriously, it's a problem! I end up in the guest room nearly every night.

Roman and Tiffany said...

Roman snores horrible! It obviously isn't a weight issue with him because he is such a skinny-minny. I keep asking him to have a sleep study done but so far no appointment.

We have now worked out a schedule to where I go to bed about an hour before he does so I can get into a deep sleep before the snoring starts. It works pretty good but he still wakes me up sometimes. :sigh:

Quadmama said...

I refuse to go to the guest room so I may need to start going to sleep much earlier than Hubby.

reanbean said...

My husband doesn't snore regularly, but when he does, it's pretty bad. I keep wax ear plugs next to the bed for such occasions. We have no guest room to retreat to, so if I must, I will give him a little push to get him to roll over. I'm just too cranky if I don't get enough sleep, and my kids don't deserve that. :o)

Quadmama said...

I hate to resort to earplugs because I'm paranoid that I would never hear the girls if there was a problem. Hubby is a sound sleeper... or at least pretends to be when there's a problem in the girls' room.

Janel said...

Usually I can sleep through anything. The snoring doesn't get to me very often. Even scary loud apnea snoring (my dad had apnea).
On the other hand...Fairly often I get myself into an overstimulated state from the constant sleep dep of life with multiples. So, falling asleep can prove difficult during these times. Especially with my husband's RLS making the bed into an ocean of shaking and rocking.
The worst was a night he had fallen asleep on hi back and was making this bizarre howly type moan along with his normal rocking and rolling with his legs. I woke him up and told him he must roll over, I was on the on the ocean at the whalesong was beautiful, but I couldn't sleep...

Quadmama said...

Hubby has a little RLS, too, which makes it even harder to sleep some nights...

Sadia said...

Lucas's snoring isn't terrible, and I have to say I enjoy being woken by it, because he's home so infrequently, the middle of the night reminder is a joy.

Perspective, indeed, as Stephanie B said. Despite the snoring, I get more sleep when hubby's home, since he nags me to actually catch a few hours.

Quadmama said...

I will admit that when Hubby isn't home I have an even harder time sleeping.

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