That's Mine Pt. 2

My sister and I are eight years apart. This means she received a lot of my hand me downs. At first it was fun seeing baby Jenna use the same coveted blankie I used as a little girl. Then she chewed it to pieces and I was a little miffed. That used to be my blankie. You think she could take better care of it. One Christmas I remember helping my mom clean up some of my old dolls that had been packed away. The brunette was "Molly." I can't remember what I called the blonde one. I was delighted that my sister would be playing with them... until she renamed them "Packie" (we think she was trying to say Cabbage Patch Kid) and "Palmer." Ummm, yeah, that's not their names. I soon decided to go through my boxes of old toys and set aside the things I just couldn't part with. I still have that box and have slowly started letting my daughters play with those toys.
My girls are never going to be in a position to give one another hand me downs, but they certainly have to learn the art of sharing. It has been a really difficult concept to explain in recent months. They are comprehending "mine" and "yours." There are certain things I never make them share: blankies, a special toy... But when it comes to birthdays and Christmas I'm starting to find myself in a real pinch.
Take their recent birthday, for example. When my dad and stepmom were visiting we had an early celebration. Grandma presented each girl with a big pink storage container full of clothes and other goodies. Since each of my daughters received a container, they logically presumed whatever was in that container was hers and hers alone. I have spent countless mornings consoling sobbing girls who can't understand why someone else is wearing "her" shirt. In the basket Cakes dug into, there was a pair of Disney Princess shoes. She insists they are her shoes... although she is starting to warm up to the idea of occaisionally sharing the shoes with her sisters.
Last Christmas Kohl's had a line of Curious George books and toys. I was so excited that there were four different stuffed animals. Now I'm constantly trying to remember who "picked" which animal Christmas morning so I can avoid arguments.
Hubby came up with an interesting solution. Before Christmas he wants to take each of the girls to a toy store and let them roam the aisles with us one on one. This will give us an idea of who enjoys what toy... and come Christmas morning could give each of them a real sense of "ownership."
All in all my daughters are very good about sharing. Just last week I took Sue Sue to a physical therapy appointment. When I picked up Roo, Cakes and Tortilla from our drop-in day care they came out with a snack. As soon as Roo saw Sue Sue did not have a snack she generously handed over some apple slices... without me asking! They're catching on to what it means to share... but some days they really just need to know something belongs solely to them.
(Don't forget, the deadline to enter the Name Your Tune CD giveaway is approaching!)

The Tale of the Pink Ballerina Slippers

Once upon a time there were four sisters who were obsessed with shoes, even though they were just four years old. Any time they received new shoes they fought over who would wear which pair. (When you're shopping for four you're rarely going to find four of the same pair, especially when the shoes are from second-hand stores).
One day, soon after the little girls finished eating lunch, the doorbell rang. The little girls watched Mommy talk to the man in the brown uniform. "Mr. Brown" then handed their mommy a box. What could it be? What could it be?
Mommy opened the box and discovered it was a present from grandma and grandpa. While Mommy was grateful to see her little girls had received new shoes, inwardly she groaned a little because she knew a fight was inevitable. First the little girls pulled out a pair of Dora shoes. They were all very excited because they had outgrown their previous pair. Then Sue Sue saw swim shoes for next summer. This made her happy because her feet always end up with scrapes from the bottom of the pool. Then Tortilla gasped. "Mommy!" she cried, "Look! Ballerina sl--. "
Before Tortilla could finish her sentence Cakes had grabbed the treasure... pink ballerina slippers. Tortilla burst into tears and Cakes eagerly slipped the shoes on her own feet. "But Mommy," Tortilla cried "I want the ballerina slippers. PLEASE!!!"
Mommy had to think fast. "Well, Cakes is taking her turn right now. Cakes, you need to share." "No," Cakes said. "These slippers are mine." "OK," said Mommy. "Here are your options. You can wear the slippers until the oven timer beeps and then give the slippers to Tortilla, or I can put them away." Cakes didn't say anything.
Mommy set the timer for 10 minutes. When the timer beeped, Cakes excitedly pulled the slippers off her feet and handed them to Tortilla. Tortilla danced and twirled on the hardwood floor in the kitchen, desperately trying to enjoy every minute of her 10 minute deadline. When the timer beeped again, Tortilla looked a little sad, but took off the slippers and gave them to Roo. Roo twirled and jumped and ran around the house. Ten minutes later, Roo turned the slippers over to Sue Sue with no objections. Sue Sue walked around on her tippy toes with a huge smile on her face. Ten minutes later the timer beeped again, and it was time for dinner. Throughout dinner each of the four little girls talked about how much fun it is to be a ballerina.
The moral of this story: sometimes my daughters surprise me with how willing they are to share.

That's Mine!

When you're a multiple, you have to learn to share at an early age: your room, your clothes, your toys, your parents. Overall, my daughters have been pretty good at this, but sometimes they just can't take it any more.
They each have certain things that are theirs and only theirs and I really make a point of enforcing that. Besides their blankies, Tortilla has a purse that she refused to let go of during a recent shopping trip, so Grandma bought it for her. Sue-Sue and Roo each have a stuffed animal they received at separate doctor's appointments. Cakes could really care less about claiming anything as long as she has her yellow blankie.
But inevitably, one of them will find a toy that no one has touched in months and suddenly I feel like I'm a referee for Ultimate Cage Fighting. They will gladly share toys with other children, but are more than happy to see which sister can draw first blood over the silliest things.
For instance, yesterday we came downstairs for breakfast and Tortilla decided to play with a babydoll pillow. As soon as she set it down to grab a babydoll, Cakes took the pillow. Screaming ensued, mainly along the lines of "that's mine!" Usually my rule is this: if you put it down then it's fair game for others. But considering Tortilla only put down the pillow so she could find a babydoll to use with it, well, things were a little dicey. I finally convinced Tortilla to use a smaller pillow, knowing Cakes would soon tire of the other pillow, which she did.
It's hard to explain "ownership" to my daughters. If they show me a toy and say "that's my (fill in the blank)" I usually have to say "yes, but it's a toy we share with our sisters." I know most siblings, multiples or not, go through this at some point. I just hope the concept of "yours, mine and ours" sinks in before they start trading black eyes.